DAN AND LACY'S ADOPTION JOURNEY

TPR today!!!

2008-03-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

Our social worker just called a little while ago to let us know that there were no problems in court today and that Jaxon is legally ours!!! No more worries. I cant tell you how happy we are at this moment. Its like we just took a big exhale and can continue on with no fears. its the best feeling. Now all we have are postplacement visits and then our court date for his Adoption Day to finalize things. Yay!!!
We had Jaxon's first baby shower this weekend which was just wonderful. We're truly blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives who care so much. To my girlfriends---your the best :o) Will post some pix as soon as I'm able. Happy Monday to all!

Bmom and 1 month old

2008-03-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

So today I decided to try and call C and see if maybe this week she'd like to meet for coffee and visit so she can see Jaxon again. We think about her so much and now more than ever we really feel like open adoption is the route for us. So scary how things change so quickly. Seems like yesterday when we were attending our 2 day seminar and both Dan and I thinking that the most we'd ever be comfortable with was letters and pictures maybe once a year. That has totally changed since meeting C. She's so amazing. For those who didnt know, we did meet with her and her daughter D at our agency and it was wonderful. She was just as happy to see us as we were to see her. I had a total breakdown moment last sunday when I was watching this Lifetime movie "16 and Pregnant". I didnt get to watch the whole thing but caught bits and pieces of it and it turned out to be an adoption story. In the midst of the tears flowing while watching the end of this show, I had a moment and I know it had to have been God telling me in a subtle way, that this is all ok. Open adoption is for us. There should be no worries. This gal had chosen an adoptive family to parent her child...and at the end of the movie...the adoptive father had a video camera and was taping this little boy and as I watched, it was like i was jumping ahead in time 5 years and seeing Jaxon. The adoptive couple had just had a baby girl..and the father asked the little boy-- (as I remember it)

Boy: My name is Charlie...
Father: WHats new in your life?
Boy: I'm going to be in kindergarden....
Father: Anything else new going on?
Boy: I have a new baby sister? (he walks towards his mother sitting on couch with baby sister)
Father: Oh yeah? And where did she come from?
Boy: She came from my mommies tummy.
Father: Really...well where did you come from?
Boy: I came from Jacey's tummy.
Father: Oh? And who is Jacey? (little boy walks to other side of the room where Jacey is sitting)
Boy: She is my birthmother. (and then he whispers something to the affect)...and I'm the only one who knows how much she really loves me.

Since seeing this show I have found myself wanting to hit send on the cell phone where C's name was. After talking with Dan, we are ready to open things up and let C and D into our lives. In our very first meeting with her, we had even discussed attending birthday parties of the kids' but I really see more. We know in the long run, this will be what is best for Jaxon. I frequent (or as often as I can now being a mama) an adoption forum in which I've met several amazing women who are part of this triad and I've got some wonderful advice and have had very meaningful conversations with them and it seems like there is some common ground with all of us involved is that there may be people in our lives who are outside of the triad that may find it difficult to understand or to accept open adoption and the importance it has in the adopted childs life. Closed adoptions are a thing of the past and now days more and more adoptive parents are pulling out all stops and are going with what their heart is telling them...do what is right for your child. You just need to hope and pray that those in your life close to you will grow to understand and accept such a special situation. Today I called C. I got her voice mail, but I left her a message telling her we've been thinking about her a lot and want to grab coffee this week if her schedule allows...and that we love her and hope to see her soon.
In conclusion...before I go get a little snooze in before I pull an all nighter with the lil man, today we celebrate 1 month with our beautiful son :o) We couldnt be more happy or more blessed by this special boy and I thank God for making my life complete. Here are a few shots I took for his one month.

Loving life

2008-03-13T06:55:00.001-07:00

Ok so back on the horse again :o) I find it rather challenging to sit my butt at this computer for periods of time anymore as all my time is spent with Jaxon (unless he's sleeping, which would be now)for me to be able to take time to post an update. I love every minute of it!! He is the most wonderful lil piece of heaven and every day feels like the first day with him. Everything has fallen into place so perfectly and we couldnt ask for more. Sunday will be his one month already!? I cant believe already how fast time is going. No smiles yet specifically for mom and dad but he's getting really good at holding his head up for long periods of time. Its the cutest thing when he stretches out his neck...looks like a lil turtle :o) He's such a content baby, we've been so lucky. He does fairly well during the night waking up only about once and then sleeping till 7 or 8. We're slowly but surely getting into a routine so Dan and I can both get some sleep. But its coming along. I found that Jaxon likes to go on outings with his mama--very content in the car and shopping around with me :o) In all the times we've taken him out anywhere--so far-- and even to dinner...he's not fussed once! Yay. Two weekends ago we did his first pictures which was so much fun. Our sister in laws sister has a big mama jama camera and does some pretty awesome work with it and we got tons of pix of Jaxon. So...here they are, a few of them anyway. So hard for me to pick only a few as they are all my favorite!

Welcome Jaxon Davis

2008-02-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

While I have a second of spare time, thought I'd post the news for those who havent heard yet--our Jaxon Davis was born Saturday, Feb 16 at 4:11 p.m. Weighing in at 8 lb even and 20.25 inches long :o) He's the most precious thing I have ever laid eyes on :o) We are so much in love with this lil guy!!! So until I can really sit down and update, here are a few pix of the lil guy :o) More to come!

Great phone call from SW today!

2008-02-15T22:48:00.001-08:00

So our social worker called me like 5 pm-ish and told me that C came in and got her thank you card we brought to the agency for her and she was really happy and told our SW that she would love if I would come to her next Dr. appt with her, which is scheduled for 8 a.m. this wednesday!!!! I actually get to go with her and see the ultrasound of the baby! Oh my gosh!!!! Also, I could mean nothing right now...but SW also said that C has been having contractions the last few nights and told her that she'd be really happy if she could have this baby this weekend!!!! Wouldnt that be something! And my parents and aunt and cousins are here in town this weekend! I'm not counting on it but if it did...how perfect! Well just thought I'd share that news before I hit the sack. Long day of baby shopping ahead of us tomorrow!! Yay!!!

Whew!! FINALLY here I am :o)

2008-02-14T10:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines to all! May your loved ones spoil you with the love and affection you deserve :o) So I just came back from chopping all my hair off...yeah I guess I'm really getting into 'mommie mode' and after my appt headed over to the agency to drop off a thank you card for our Bmom (we'll call her 'C'). Left it with our social worker to give to C telling her how much we appreciated her meeting with us and how we felt about the meeting and that we were truly blessed to be chosen by her. So here is a little about our situation. C is a young single mom..22 yrs old. She has a daughter (whom we'll call D), that is 2 yrs old and will be a full blood sister to our son. The bfather (whom we'll call J), has been in and out of their lives and at this point is no where to be found. No one can get in touch with him. C has notified J of the adoption and she had told our social worker he was ok with it but you just never know. Her family is in total support of her decision. Being a young mother she decided all along through her pregnancy that adoption was what she wanted to do. She wants to go to school and do good for her and her daughter and financially and mentally, she is just not prepared to be a single mother of two children. She came to our agency a few weeks prior to us getting THE CALL and made an adoption plan with our social worker. She looked through the profiles and chose between two families...she really liked us...the fact that we've been together so long and are high school sweethearts...the fact that dan is athletic and played baseball. She told us she wanted baby to have that opportunity to play sports but didnt know who was gonna teach him that as she's not able. She was absolutely wonderful...I'm telling you it couldnt have been a more perfect match. We were anxious going in but as soon as we sat down it was like we were conversing with a friend. She told us about her life and family and a what she knew of J and his family. We also go to see pictures of J and C and also of D when she was a baby, so that gave us an idea what our son will look like. Forgot to mention that she brought D with her and she was absolutely lovely! Was a sweet little girl. Very smart and beautiful. Gummy worms and color crayons kept her busy while we talked :o) It was just amazing to be able to see her. We learned a lot about each other and our journeys that brought us to adoption. I have to share this story with you all which to me was like a definite deal sealer and a moment of goose bumps where I think we all realized that this was a match made by God; she brought up names for the baby and if we had any picked out and of course after flipping through the book of 100,000 names...we had brought three top names to the table with us---Jaxon, Grayson and Phineus. Well if you know Dan and I very well personally you will know that Jaxon is a name we've had in mind back when we were 15 and first dating..talking hypothetically if we got married what we'd name our kids. Dan came up with this name in the 7th grade. Anyway.... I told her the background of the first name we gave her, Jaxon, and when she heard the name...her eyes just lit up, welled with tears and she said....'ya know the only name i have every associated with this baby throughout this whole pregnancy, was Jaxon....if i were to name this boy and parent him myself, Jaxon is the name I would have given him....it goes well with his sisters name"....oh gosh did I burst into tears, we all got goosebumps and it was in that moment, i think we really all knew...this was going to be our son...Jaxon will be our boy :o) It was an incredible day, we said our see ya laters and Dan and I walked out the most happiest couple....even though it was like subzero we stopped outside the door and just embraced one another and cried. This is our bmom...this is our baby! Wow. I'm still in a state of shock that our prayers are finally being answered. We called our social worker later that evening and told her we were pushin our chips all in....we love her and will be waiting for our son. C was equally as excited about us and told our SW that she absolutely loved us. So....now we wait for the call from SW saying she is going into labor, we'll head up to the hospital and wait for baby to be born. We'll get a room near her room (hopefully). Her hospital wishes are that she get an hour with him after he is born to take pictures and say goodbyes and then ID bracelents are ours and we take over. We stay there as long as he needs to be there and when he's ready we'll take our son home. Wow!!! We will have a long few weeks ahead of us once we return home, though. J is not responding to phone calls so they are going to have to put a publication in the paper about the court date for his termination of parental rights. Legally this has to run for three weeks before court. Our origial legal risk would be 7 days but because it has to run 3 weeks, will probably be 2 weeks legal risk for us in which someone has the chance to step in and take over parenting this child. We dont want to think about that but we must be cautious as it is a possibility. There are no guarantees till after those 2 weeks are past. All we can do is pray and ask that you all pray very hard that this is what is meant to be and that no one will intrude on our new family. However, if they do, its what is best for the baby and we understand and will respect that. It by no means will be easy, but its whats in the best interst of the child. Thanks for everyones ongoing love and support. The well wishes we've been recieving are so wonderful and we love each and everyone of you. Thank you for tagging along with us on this wild adventure and we hope that we have a happy ending! Pray for us...for C...for her daugher and their family and for our baby Jaxon. Will update more soon! Try to get pix of nursery when we get it up and running :o) Love to all!

ITS A BOY!!!

2008-02-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

For those of you who dont know, we met with our birth mother yesterday and everything was fantastic. We're having a boy!!! He is due Feb 24th..give or take. Just so you know I havent forgot to update my blog, just have been crazy busy with working and trying to get things ready and enjoying the moment with my husband and family and friends. I promise to update this within the next few days to give everyone the dish! We are so excited!!! Thanks for everyones ongoing support! Love to all!!!

Article someone posted on the next

2007-12-18T09:50:00.000-08:00

I thought this was a nice article and wanted to share.....
Here's the article, it's written by a woman who has children both biologically and through adoption:

WHAT TO EXPECT WHILE YOU ARE WAITING TO ADOPT

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I ran out to buy a beautiful journal. In it, I tracked the growth of my belly, doctor's visits, countdown to the due date, and of course the details of my labor and delivery.

When my husband and I began talking about having another child, I knew I wanted to keep another pregnancy journal. Our second child, however, did not come as planned. After secondary infertility and nearly seven years of trying to conceive we made the decision to adopt a baby. This "pregnancy" did not last nine months; it came without any what-to-expect guidelines. I was "expecting" all right, but certainly not in the conventional way. I could not relate to any of the available nine-month countdown journals. So, I decided to create my own.

Through my journaling and sharing with others in similar situations, I found that there are indeed somewhat predictable stages of an adoption pregnancy.

Stage One: Asking Yourself Questions

The first trimester, so to speak, of an adoption expectancy may take a few minutes or several years. Some men and women say that they always knew they would adopt; it was just a matter of when. I have also met couples who have been, and still are, thinking about adoption for 10 years. Still others, like my husband and me, make the decision easily to have a child and to try fertility treatments when unable to become pregnant. Pursuing adoption, however, was not as instantaneous for us.

My biggest fear throughout pregnancy with my first child was, Would I be a good mother? My biggest fear in my adoption expectancy was, Will I feel like this child's mother? Could I bond with a child not born to me? Would I treat my birth child differently, and would my adopted child grow up feeling injustice in our family? Worst of all, could I handle my emotions if and when my child wanted to meet the birth family? I feared my role as a mother would be short-lived.

Ask yourself what matters, a pregnancy or a child? Will I feel like less of a person if I cannot make a baby? Have I mourned the child we cannot conceive? Is adoption our last resort, or do we want it regardless of our ability to conceive?

Stage Two: Who Will This Child Be?

The second trimester of your expectancy resembles a physical pregnancy's: You imagine LIFE. You don't grow a belly, rather a mound of paperwork. You're through with doctors poking at your body, but social workers poke around your home. No more research into medical miracles; now it's finding how to build your family. You start to imagine what kind of parent you will be. You wonder, Who will this child be?

You are moving into unknown territory, and it is natural to be filled with questions, fears and even doubts. You will be judged if your home and marriage are fit for a child, if you will be a fit parent. You will be asked about your feelings on issues that you may never before have given a second thought. You might have no idea what race your child will be, or his heritage or what she might look like. You'll probably stare at every child on the street and wonder, Will mine look like that?

You might have nightmares about your baby being born with two heads, seven toes or polka dots. You'll have to come to terms with heart-wrenching questions like, Can I parent a disabled child? What about a baby born with AIDS? A birth defect? Of all the children born in this world, which will be mine to love and raise?

Somewhere out there a child waits for you. You have taken a huge step toward that child; now feel the movement in the universe that will connect you.

Stage Three: The Waiting Game

Try to think of this stage as your last hurrah to prepare for the moment when you will get that phone call, when the agency or attorney will match you, when the birth mother will go into labor. IT WILL HAPPEN.

Compose a letter to your waiting child during this time. If you have little ones, encourage them to write to their future sibling. Ask your parents also to write to their coming grandchild.

Welcome the child into your life and family before s/he arrives, just as you would if you carried her in your womb. Throw yourself a baby shower. Ready your home for your new bundle. Buy diapers, sprinkle baby powder around the room, wash some baby clothes with extra gentle soap. Do whatever it takes to make it feel real.

Stage Four: It's a Boy, a Girl, a Miracle!

No matter how ready you think you are, you're not ready for this. As many times as you have answered the telephone before the first ring ended, and thought, "This could be the call," it will be the time that you grab it running out the door when the voice on the other end breaks the news you've been waiting for. It will be the day that the mail sits on your counter for hours before you remember it when a picture or video of your child appears. Even if you are in the delivery room, watching the birth of your baby, once he or she is placed in your arms, your heart will skip a beat and you will wonder, "How did I get here?!"

How you got there is nothing short of a miracle. The miracle of childbirth. The miracle of adoption. And it will take your breath away.

Stage Five: Joyful Beginnings, Bittersweet Endings

After childbirth, many women go through postpartum blues. Though it may be hard to imagine feeling anything other than pure joy once your long-awaited adopted child is in your arms, don't be surprised when you shed tears the first few weeks. Hormones may not be causing the tears, but you will nonetheless feel mixed up.

The first time I saw my daughter, she was two days old, sleeping in a car seat, her two pink feet sticking out beneath a blanket. Sitting next to her, lovingly stroking those precious feet, was her birth mother. My heart went out not at first to this dear infant but to the incredibly courageous and loving woman who had just given birth. I was truly paralyzed for a moment at the magnitude of love surrounding the three of us, this adoption triad.

Don't be afraid to feel the loss and sadness for your child and the birth parents. Cry for joyful beginnings. And cry for bittersweet endings.

An adoption pregnancy is not obvious to everyone. Often without a due date, it is a pregnancy of the heart and soul. I hope that my book, Till There Was You: An Adoption Expectancy Journal, will inspire you to explore your own time of waiting that you will share one day with the child who grew in your heart.

--By Rebecca Lyn Gold

WOO WHOO

2007-12-14T08:15:00.000-08:00

Our profile is now online!!! Yay!! Check it out---- http://thevillagefamily.org/adoptionoption/profiles/shtml

Accurate Adoption language

2007-12-13T20:24:00.000-08:00

As I was reading several other adoptive mother blogs tonight I came across one blog that I found shortly after they had their placement. The following info on adoption language was something a friend of her's had sent to her and I thought I'd share with all who read my blog as it is some really great information, especially for those who have questions floating about in their heads that may want to ask us down the road.....

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.
--- Rita Laws, PhD

Using accurate adoption language when speaking about adoption is extremely important. Even well meaning family members and friends can inadvertently convey the misconception that adoptive families are less real or permanent, and that a child who was adopted remains somehow different. This can be hurtful and hard to forget by the adoptee or adoptive parents.

Here are some points to remember:

*As with race or gender, the fact that a person was adopted should be mentioned only if it's essential to the story. If it's used, relevance should be made clear. A daughter, niece, granddaughter, or cousin who joined the family through adoption is -- and should be described as -- simply a daughter, niece, granddaughter, or cousin, not as an "adopted daughter", etc. Once an adoption is final, a child is simply a regular member of the family.

*If it is relevant to mention adoption, past tense phrasing is appropriate, such as "Jane was adopted in August 2006" rather than "She is adopted". Adoption is just one of many events in Jane's life, not an immutable personal trait. Jane's family should be referred to simply as father, mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The man and woman who shared in Jane's conception can be referred to as the birthparents (NOT "real" or "natural" parents).

*The reasons that people adopt are rarely relevant. To suggest or say that someone "couldn't have a baby of his or her own" is inaccurate. Adoption is a choice, and is not second best. Children who join families through adoption are their parents "own" by law and by love. Families are formed by love, not biology.

Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. The way we talk, and the words we choose, say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other.

Please choose positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. People who use incorrect terminology should be politely corrected. When we use positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.

THE WAIT IS ON!!!!

2007-12-06T18:19:00.001-08:00

We are officially OFFICIALLY paper pregnant as of today! Yay! At 4:30 today following my hard day at work, I hopped in the car and headed over to LSS to drop off our finally finished profile :o) What a feeling! I took it up to show our case worker, Amanda, yesterday and met her for the first time. We wanted to get her opinion on it before we went and made the 6 copies to turn in. She was all grins looking through it and thought we put a lot of work in it and was really pleased with it! She said some people you just dont get much of a feel for who they are by their profile, but she said she totally gets a sense of who we are after lookin at ours! Yay! Was great to hear. She's a really nice gal and I think we'll get along great with her. So...hopefully tomorrow in the middle of her busy day she'll be able to mail out all the copies--3 stay in Fargo, 1 to Grand Forks, 1 to Bismarck and 1 to the Dickinson/Williston area. She also said that sometime next week we should be up on The Village's website with the other prospective adoptive families. I'll let everyone know when it happens, but if you want the website in the mean time it is www.thevillagefamily.org ---when you get to the main page, click on OUR PROGRAMS, then ADOPTION SERVICES, and scroll down and click on View Profiles of Families Wishing to Adopt (you have to scroll down that page a little to see the families. So those are our competition for placement. Keep us in your prayers that our "pregnancy" isnt a long one. Now its all in God's hands. He's got our birth family picked out its just a matter of when he's gonna fix us all up :o) We can't wait! In the mean time, here are the rest of the pages of our profile. Since you're seeing them here on our blog, it may not be necessary to go to the village's site. But you can visit anyway if you like :o) Stay warm everyone and have a blessed holiday season!

Profile pages

2007-11-16T16:37:00.000-08:00

So here are some of the pages we have done for our profile. Have the last page, birthparent letter page, page of just dan, page of just me and fun activity pages left to do. There will be a total of 10 pages (5 front and back). Hopefully it's what our potential birthmother is looking for :o)

Very sad news and extra prayers needed

2007-11-16T11:26:00.000-08:00

I feel heavy hearted in posting good news and updates now as I just read a post from a fellow adoptive parent and also 'neighbor' in Minnesota, Rachel and her husband---they just recently received word that their adoption agency has lost their licence. After a long wait to become parents...struggling with infertility, going through the entire process and have been waiting all fall for a blessing to fall into their arms, it has all been pulled right away from them, not only to mention that the large sum of money they have already put forth towards bringing their little angel home, could possibly be a lost cause and non-refundable. This instantly brought me to tears reading this and my heart aches for these two. If you believe in the power of our good Lord, please, please pray that they find peace and strengh in all this and that positive things are in store for this couple.

Long time no post :o)

2007-11-16T11:12:00.001-08:00

Ok...Things are moving and shaking now. The last few weeks Dan and I have been busting our humps to finish our 'new office' downstairs to make room for nursery upstairs. Office is completely painted minus the closet doors and removing the existing furniture from the room. We plan this weekend and this week to start moving the office from upstairs down. I am traveling to Minneapolis on Sunday morning to get the rest of the major pieces needed for the nursery (as well as a few christmas gifts) :o) Should be fun. Looks like by the end of the month we should have all our main necessities--carseat, all nursery furniture, pack and play/bassinet and probably some carriers and maybe even a really cute diaper bag! Yay! It might all end up sitting here set up for awhile, but the fact that we'll have it and be ready is a relief. Just hope baby comes sooner than later so that we wont have to keep the door closed so that it wont be so sad to think about our wait. We plan to meet with Amanda sometime next week to turn in our profile. I'll scan a few pages from our profile to show everyone when I'm off work at 4.....SPeaking of work...good news at my meeting yesterday that we are finally making steps to get us paid per line at MeritCare which means an extreme jump in pay for me! Dan says we can adopt ten more babies now--he obviously liked the news :o) Just means more shoes and clothes for baby :o) Yay! Will post pictures of profile later today...stay tuned :o)

Nothing new

2007-10-11T09:27:00.001-07:00

Sort of in limbo for right now until November which is when we have decided we will have our profile completed and turned in to our social worker so not much to report at this time. We should be getting our dresser/changing table in the next week or two and crib will be on order by end of the week so it should get her around the same time I imagine. Our 'new' office downstairs is almost finished being painted so we can start to move our furniture to that room. Will be exciting to see this room start to fill up with baby stuff :o)
News with me, I was contacted by my agency the other day and I was asked to be a judge for the Miss ND USA state pageant (as their model judge). No pressure! So if Miss ND USA isn't a winner this year, I guess you can point a finger at me :oP Should be interesting as its sort of an all day event. Interviews in the late morning through lunch so I've gotta dress business-like and in the evening for the competition and coronation it is very formal so I've either gotta shop for a gown or I'm thinking I'll wear the BM dress from my SIL wedding last year which really doesnt look much like a BM dress and is pretty elegant. We'll see. Should be fun though to see how many say they want to have 'world peace'. :oP If I hear that once, I think I may just die laughing! Anyway...will fill ya all in how it goes :o)

IT'S OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL :o)

2007-10-03T16:06:00.001-07:00

Our social worker Kristin was waiting for a few things to come in (reference form from bank, background check, etc) before it could be made official even though she said after our last meeting we completed it...ANYWAY I received an email from her saying that her and the head of the program were going to be signing off on it tomorrow so as of 10/4/07 we are officially OK'd to have a baby!!! Yay!!!!!!!!! Sorry for not posting anything for awhile. Here is something to leave you with. Dan and his baby stroller :o)

Losing it!

2007-09-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

So we got our stroller at the end of last week...the red bumbleride rocket! What a deal we made on it and its dang near in mint condition! I cant wait to use it! I have these fake carvable pumpkins that I've been meaning to make a pumpkin topiary with so I took one of those 'babies' and strapped it in the stroller..fake pumpkin/fake baby...ahhh same thing :o) As I pushed the 'baby' around the house Dan proceeded to look at me as if I had completely lost it! My fabulous sister in law in Texas, what a sweetheart! She packed up a few of her baby carriers and sent them our way so we could test drive a few styles to see what might work for us. Again, 'baby pumpkin' went in the front pack carrier (half way in) haha and same thin with the sling. Dan again laughing at me reminding me that our baby isnt gonna be that wide! Test run babe...test run. So looks like we'll be getting one of both, just have to decide what brand to go with. I cant wait! Even though it was just a pumpkin....I imagined our little angel right there :o)

My mother, Dan and myself have all had baby dreams now and two out of three are saying we're having a boy...mom thinks he's gonna have lotta dark hair! Wonder if God is telling us something through dreams now, or if it will be the complete opposite and He'll give us a girl! Oh I cant wait to find out!

Boy bedding....

2007-09-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

Since I've been looking at pink everything I figured I cant jinx it and I found a boy bedding I think we've settled on if it is to be a boy. Its Glenna Jean and it would go nice with our office color now since the blue in it matches up real nice. What do ya think? :o)

First piece of baby equipment!!

2007-09-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

Stroller...check! Mom and dad and I sat on the phone last night till nearly 11:00 waiting for the bid to end on this stroller and we ended up winning the bid! Yay! This is such a cute stroller and will be great for Dan and I to still get to go jogging on our bike path and bring baby along with. I'm so excited for it to arrive! Thanks mum and pops :o)
Is this thing not the cutest!? Perfect for either boy or girl. Its a BumbleRide.

Voila!

2007-09-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

First diaper cake sold! If interested in my cakes, I'm taking orders :o) Besides all the other things on the 'to do' list for getting ready for baby, I've gotta make a few more sample cakes and get the word out there. If anyone knows anyone who might be interested, send em my way :o)

WE DID IT!

2007-09-11T06:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday completed our home assessment! We had our final meeting with Kristin and minus a few loose ends that need tying up, we are ready to go in the book of families! I'm just on cloud nine today...especially since when I woke up this morning, rolled over to give my hubby a kiss and as he woke up with one eye open he said to me..."Good morning mother." ...in return I said to him 'Good morning father.' I had a huge cheese on my face and still do! Now we've got to kick things up a notch. We've gotta start gathering pictures and I've gotta get my scrapbooking juices flowing to get these pages together. We've gotta get our nursery stuff together, probably go get on a baby registry or two in the next week or so. So much to do!! I think I might have to go and order one of those shirts that I mentioned awhile back from that website 'not showing'. I mean, women that are preggers wear cute stuff and shirts that make reference to their big bump...why cant I right :o)

One thing I'm a bit sad about is that after Kristin finishes typing up our report, she's going to be leaving us and moving out of state :o( Meaning we'll be assigned a whole new person but at least we'll be done with our assessment and wont have to finish it with someone else. But bummer she wont know us as well as Kristin. Poo poo. So I just had to share our fabulous news! Keep us and our baby in your prayers! Thanks everyone for your love and support through all this :o)

Tell me again about the night I was born....

2007-09-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

We got our book today in the mail! Was disappointed but at the same time a little pleased to see that it wasnt the larger hardcover book that I had seen in barns and noble. Instead its the small hard page square book that will withstand the wear and tear of small hands turning pages. As I read it, tears...my Lord...the tears. I ponder how either of us are going to be able to get through reading this book to our baby without turning into a couple of puddles. It's so sweet and the illustration is too cute for words. Lots of things going on in the pictures for a child to point out. The page that stands out the most...and key for this story...

'Tell me again how you couldn't grow a baby in your tummy, so another woman who was too young to take care of me was growing me and she would be my birth mother, and you would adopt me and be my parents.'

I love this book. Can't wait to get to share this story with our child :o)

Few ideas being tossed around....

2007-09-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

So since I've got nothing to really update everyone with at the moment, thought I'd share with you all some of the ideas we've got for furniture, decor, possibly bedding or just some things I found cute....

Crib and dresser/change table we like

IKEA bookshelf for books, toys, baskets...etc

Few baby ring sling carriers I like

One of many boy/girl bedding sets we like

My first sale!

2007-08-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Yay! Just had to say I'm in the process of my first diaper cake sale -- thanks Kim!!! :o) I had a request from my girl Kimberly to make a girl cake which I just so happen to have all the goods I need to whip it up in no time...just gotta go get a few of the 'ingredients' for the inside. This might be a way to get some business...if other people at this shower she is throwing spread the word...that could mean more sales maybe! Woot woot! I have a boy cake done right now so I'll try and snap a picture and post before I take it apart to make a girl cake...anyone interested in a cake...let me know :o) Sales are going for a good cause--to help us bring home our baby :o)

Talk about quick!!

2007-08-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share that we officially have two home assessment meetings left; one of which will be done on Tuesday and the other possibly in the next week or two also not in September as she first thought! The personality test we took came back earlier than expected and thats the last meeting we need to have is to go over that test. Only thing we'd be waiting on is the criminal check. Can you believe how quick this is going? To hell with the three months...lets try do it in half the time! This is all fine and great knowing that we're getting through so quick but at the same time, we're trying to prepare for this baby. So hard for us to not just say, "Alright....We're workin on the profile this weekend and as soon as Kristin gives us the green light, BOOM, profile in book, (and what if.....) BOOM, birth mother picks us one month later, BOOM, due to deliver 2 months after that! So everyone else gets 9 months to have their baby so why can't I just be so patient? Must allow time to get the nursery in order (which Project Nursery is already underway) and get the crib next month and perhaps a shelving unit...etc whatever else we can swing next month. I already found a diaper bag I like! Family...Friends...DONT...and I repeat DONT go into Wizard of Kids thats in the TJ Maxx plaza strip. ITS THE DEVIL!!!Thats where I saw the diaper bag among a milllion other pricy items I would love to have for the baby! Ugh. Hard not to leave there with everything in hand. Ok...vent over :o) Another thing we've started to do is collect books, which I might add that HALF.COM is a great site to find discounted books. We want to start collecting childrens books that will be helpful in explaining their adoption story to them as they are growing up. One which I have been told was one of the best by many other adoptive monthers is one of the books written by Jamie Lee Curtis called "Tell Me About the Night I was Born." So I went in to Barnes and Noble to check it out and perhaps get it and was talkin to mom on the phone as I read it...had to stop because I started tear up. Its going to be the most perfect book! If you are ever in Barnes and Noble, swing through the kids section and just flip through a few pages. Its going to be absolutely perfect. So instead of paying $18 at B&N, the thrifty shopper that I are found it online for $8 same with a copy of What to Expect the First Year to use as a reference to help us know how to care for our baby. I'm sure we'll have all our fam and friends helpin us out with things, but I've heard its a good book to reference to. Others on the list: "A is for Adopted", "A Blessing from Above", and for an adult read, "The Complete Adoption Book"--which I've read another adoptive mother say she keeps it on her coffee table. So...with all those books, planning the nursery, finishing meetings, getting our profile ready, moving office, painting, etc...we've got our hands full for a bit! Just in throwing around time frames, we thought that if our home assessment gets finalized that we'll maybe put our profile in the book maybe end of December-ish. Just gotta play it by ear! Will keep you posted though! Thanks for all your love and support and keep us in your prayers that all comes together as He has planned it for us!

First home study visit completed!!!

2007-08-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

Wow seems like everything is coming together so quickly. Previously we were told this process takes about 3 months give or take but after we met with Kristin Friday, that number changed to a little less than 2 months!
So I was all anxious and excited about her coming over so naturally we made sure our house was spotless before she came. The night before we even thought we should have beverage options and maybe some muffins to offer her when she arrived. She did, however, decline due to the fact that she was going to be talking the whole two hours, which she pretty much did. We went over many papers that we had previously signed and discussed fees and timelines for when payments are due and additional costs that will arise. We also had a discussion about our parameters as far as what we are willing to work with in a birthparent situation (i.e. did the BM use drugs, had she no prenatal care, baby premature, unknown birth father, mental disabilities, BM pregnant as result of rape, smoking during pregnancy, etc). All pretty huge factors to consider. Initially when filling out the paperwork we answred no to pretty much everything because we wanted the baby to be conceived in a way that would be equal to if we were expecting and what pregnancy would have been for me. Must be more flexible!! It's so hard to say, yea I'll 'consider that'. By saying no to most of these things is really going to limit us as far as how many situations we will end up be presented with and we could end up waiting 3 years for that 'perfect child'. I wish it could be the case but most often the BMs come to the Village with at least one or more of these factors. So we changed several of our answers to "will consider" in order to give us a better chance of placement.
So after hashing out all the paperwork and giving her a tour of the house and filling her in a bit about our neighborhood, she told us that her goal is get our home study completed by Oct 1st!!!! That's well under the 3 month mark that we had been told before! We were pretty much shocked--this is all happening so quickly. We have three more meetings with her--Dan will meet with her this Friday at 9 a.m. and I meet with her next Tuesday at 9 a.m. Then we meet her together again for the last time sometime in September once the results come back from our personality tests. At that point, if we wanted to put our profile in the book, we can do so which means we can be selected at any time! Kinda makes us nervous as we dont have a nursery ready yet since we didnt anticipate this moving so quickly. We may have to postpone putting our profile in for a little bit until financially we get our ducks in a row and can be prepared in case it happens fast. We'd like to think that we're gonna get picked right away but dont wanna jinx it and then be sitting here for 3 years with no baby. I cant bear to think of that happening but its a possibility. So I guess things are looking good so far. We just need to pass the home assessment and who knows what could come after October! Keep your fingers X'd and keep us in your prayers. We love you all!

My Wish

2007-08-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

Heard this song today. When I hear this song, I'll forever remember last Christmas and how it was the most special Christmas ever. Thanks mom, dad and Ty. Love you guys!

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

Chorus
My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you
And the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God’s grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything,
yeah more than anything
This is my wish

Clean clean clean!!!

2007-08-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Ugg! One of my favorite things in teh world is having a clean house---however, I hate having to clean it...especially all day long! Wanted to be prepared for next Friday when our SW comes over so we went through the downstairs and FINALLY got it organized. I went all out and dusted every little crack and corner in the whole house! Obsessed Lace? Umm yeah..just want things to be perfect when she gets here I guess. I even went over to Linens and Things and got a few Yankee candles and to BBW and got some Wallflower plug ins...my favorite, Black Rasberry Vanilla...Yum!! Five more days till first meeting!!! Yay.

The big day is coming....

2007-08-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

So our first home assessment meeting is finally set with our SW. She's coming over to meet with us in our home next Friday morning (the 17th) at 9 a.m.!!!! Holy crap! I'm so planning on cleaning like a psycho this weekend (even though it's not that messy around here) but still! I want everything to be perfect. I've been told by other potential adoptive mothers that all we need to do is clean like our mother-in-law is coming because they're not gonna be checkin closets or coming in with white gloves....which is good when you've got a dog that sheds like a maniac! I can't believe how fast this is all coming together. After this meeting, we individually will each meet with her once, and then once more together to go over our personality test. She sent in our criminal background checks the other day and those should take 4-6 weeks to come back give or take. Aye yay yay! I hope that the placement comes quick after this is all done but we could only be so lucky right. Cant let myself get excited and caught up in the momentum of things and then find out we'll be waiting a year or two for a placement. Must protect myself and be prepared for what is to come. I know God has this all planned out for us and we just need to trust in Him that it will all happen in due time and pray that our wait wont be too long.

Emotional wreck

2007-08-09T12:55:00.000-07:00

I just have to share this with you all and hope you take the time to watch this video because it hit me on such a deep level I cant even describe how emotional this made me. I know its geared more to infertile couples, but the whole message fits our situation. Will write more when my eyes dry up....love you all...

"I would die for that" by Kellie Coffey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

Paperwork DONE

2007-08-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

WE finished our paperwork today. It was a process that took several months to complete. We decided to get it turned in by today as an anniversary gift to each other. Mission accomplished. We went to mail at the post office and decided instead to bring it to our case worker Kristin. As luck would have it she was in and received it with enthusiasm. What happens next is that she looks everything over, forwards paperwork to its proper place and starts the home assessment. Turning the paperwork in is a crucial step and really gets the ball rolling. We are very excited and will keep you all posted!

Fundraising idea

2007-08-03T13:28:00.000-07:00

I found this funny and had to share, but I read a comment on another blog in which a gal was doing youth ministry and was getting together with middle school girls to do a tie dye shirt project. Somehow they got on the subject of adoption (they didnt know the gal was adopting) and they were talking about all the needy children in the world. The gal said it made her so sad because of the costs, because more people would probably do it. One of the girls said "how much does it cost?" and another one said "I heard between $300-700". Ha!! The naivites of being so young :o) After reading how lotta these couples are doing fundraising efforts to help with their costs, I decided to use the little "side business" idea I had last spring to see if we can't cash in on the concept to help us with our costs. Diaper cakes--and for those of you who didn't see my first time effort masterpiece I made this cake for my girlfriend the day she had her baby in which I just threw it together at the last minute. It's stuffed full of baby goodies (pacifiers, clothes, bottle, bibs...etc). I went a bit overboard because it was my girlfriend but I may be able to simplify what goes into each cake. I have many ideas and am thinking this week of sitting down and trying to make a few...take some pictures and maybe post up fliers around to see if anyone is interested. If that goes well, we'll see about going a little broader and selling some on ebay. They could potentially be a hit. The nurses and gals at the hospital when I brought this up to my girlfriend seemed to think it was great and that I should start my own business :o) We'll see.

Personality/parenting test...CHECK!!

2007-08-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we got up groggy eyed and headed over to the Village for our test. When I talked to the gal on the phone she said it would take roughly 1.5 hours. Dan and I were each put in separate rooms and had to take a test on ourselves, on our spouse and then a short parenting test which had a ton of strange questions but good to know what kind of parent your gonna be. So, I'm sitting there taking my test and look up at the clock and notice I've hit the 1 hour 15 minute mark. After going back over some of my answers I get up to go see if Dan is done and there he was, waiting in the lobby for me....FOR AN HOUR!!! Mister speed tester! He was about ready to leave and go to have breakfast without me! Test was about 180 questions long and we are DONE!!! Yay! Tonight going to print out the background and criminal history forms, write the checks for each of us and toss them in the envelop along with the other papers! Hmm...maybe it'll even be possible to mail it all by Friday! Woot woot!

Wait one more day...

2007-07-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks! Can't let you know how the personality test went until tomorrow. Due to a work conflict the test had to be scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. In the mean time, thought I would share this website that I found that is really neat for those people who are adopting or for adoptive children. Cool that they make something out there for those expecting children with 'no bump required' :o) www.notshowing.com

Monday, Monday...la la...la la la...so good to me!

2007-07-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

So we were a bit miffed when we found out that we weren't gonna be able to get in and get our physicals done next week because our goal is to get all our paperwork and first payment mailed and post-dated Aug. 6th as an anniversary gift to each other! However, after emailing our case worker she was fired up that we have everything ready and she said just send it everything in and we can wait for the physical paperwork so we can get our home assessment visits scheduled and get things rolling! YAY!! It's really all starting to happen! Monday at 8 a.m. we both will be heading over to The Village Family Service Center where we need to each take a personality test. The test will be roughly 1 1/2 hours and we'll be in separate rooms for these tests. Man we're gonna have to do some major cleaning around here to get this place white glove test and social worker ready!! Yikes! The thought of a social worker coming over makes me a bit crazy. Actually our worker, Kristin, is a really nice young gal and we got a chance to interact more with her and the other workers together over our two day workshop which helped so we're a bit more comfortable with her! What a great way to end the week! Lotta stuff happening...lotta stuff to get ready for! Cant wait :o)

Primetime ABC Family Secret's last night

2007-07-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

So we were flipping through channels last night and came across this Primetime special on ABC that shared the stories of two birthmothers, ages 15 and 18, who decided to make a better life for their children by seeking out an adoptive family for them. It gave more insight as to what these young women go through from the time they find out they are pregnant, through the counseling, making one of the toughest decisions of their life to actually placing their child in the arms of the adoptive parents. We have actually listened to a birthmother tell her story, but to be able to watch it all happen during that show, for two different girls, was very touching. Below is a link to the ABC website that tells a little bit about the story in case you might be interested in reading up on it. This should couldn't have come on at a more better time! The signs are all around :o) http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=3394560&page=1

Yay Fingerprinted!!

2007-07-24T17:09:00.000-07:00

So something to add today is that Dan and I jumped in the car after I finished work and headed over the the Fargo Police Department offices just down the road from us. We met a very nice lady who marked up our cards with fingerprints which we must turn in to our agency as part of our criminal history check. Then me, being the nerd that I am, brought our camera with to document the occasion; taking shots of both of us with black fingers (or sort of black fingers) and with our print cards! Woo hoo! One more step out of the way...now, on to scheduling physical and filling out criminal record papers!

2007-07-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

We took another step along the road to adoption this past week by attending a 2 day training session at St Johns Church in Fargo on Monday and Tuesday. We started at 1pm on Monday with 3 social workers and 5 other prospective couples. The 2 day session was full of information and emotion.

We did a language exercise to help eliminate some words and phrases that are barriers and can be short sighted. Words and phrases like"keep the baby" and "real parents" are no longer considered politically correct. Adoption of today aims to eliminate the negative stigma that in past has surrounded the adoption process and the children involved.These changes and others have occurred in the past few years and have helped changed the face of adoption to make it more mainstream and accessible to parents and children.

We had a group of speakers which represented all parties that can be involved in adoption. We heard from a birth mother who wasn't ready to raise a child and wanted to give her child everything she couldn't. We heard from a couple who has recently adopted a newborn from ND and are very much like us in terms of where they started in the process and where the ended up. We also heard from a woman who was adopted 20 years ago and she shared some of the problems she had struggled with not knowing much about her birth family.There was very little "openness" in adoptions back then.The 2 day session opened our eyes to what an open adoption can mean to the child and two the adoptive parents.

The 2 days was a great experience and very informative. we were able to see other couples who have similar situations and listen to people who are going through some of the same things. we were enlightened to say the least. The 2 days seemed to have put a spark in us and we are very eager to get the ball rolling faster.

Our next step is to turn in our paperwork and do the home assessment which is 3-4 visits with our case worker and can take about 3 months.

Thank you all for sharing in our journey. remember to ask us if you have any questions about adoption or the process.

Here we go.....

2007-01-31T15:52:00.000-08:00

Looks like things are moving along quicker than expected. Today we received our packet of paperwork to complete! We sent in our application one week and two days ago and were told that within the next 2-3 weeks we would be recieving this information. Might have helped that we attended the adoption meeting a few months back and the gal who was giving out the information happens to be our assigned social worker and we have been in touch with her via email.

It's a pretty thick stack of papers that we are gonna be pluggin away full of consent forms, autobiography, medical records...etc. They want us to work at our own speed; with how excited we are to get this going, we could have it in the mail by tomorrow :o) Once we turn all paperwork in and inventories are taken, we will meet with the social worker at least three times, maybe six to discuss and develop our adoption plan. The goal is to complete the assessment in three months from the date the forms are all returned to their office. We will be planning on attending a 2 day educational and preparation workshop in the spring.

It is so exciting to see this all come together! We just hope and pray that they are going to see what great parents we will make! So stay tuned for more updates! Love to you all.

January 22, 2007--Let the journey begin!

2007-01-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

January 22, 2007 is the day that Dan and I decided we were going to officially take the first step at becoming parents. We sent in our application for adoption to The Villiage Family Service Center/Lutheran Social Services Adoption Option program. We are absolutely thrilled. I believe that being adoptive parents is what God is calling us to do and if it is his will that we are to adopt a beautiful newborn child, that will be the greatest blessing of all. Please keep us in your hearts and prayers! This blog was created so that we may share our journey with you all and will post any and all new updates on the process. We love you all!!

Dan and Lacy