Welcome Jaxon Davis

While I have a second of spare time, thought I'd post the news for those who havent heard yet--our Jaxon Davis was born Saturday, Feb 16 at 4:11 p.m. Weighing in at 8 lb even and 20.25 inches long :o) He's the most precious thing I have ever laid eyes on :o) We are so much in love with this lil guy!!! So until I can really sit down and update, here are a few pix of the lil guy :o) More to come!

Great phone call from SW today!

So our social worker called me like 5 pm-ish and told me that C came in and got her thank you card we brought to the agency for her and she was really happy and told our SW that she would love if I would come to her next Dr. appt with her, which is scheduled for 8 a.m. this wednesday!!!! I actually get to go with her and see the ultrasound of the baby! Oh my gosh!!!! Also, I could mean nothing right now...but SW also said that C has been having contractions the last few nights and told her that she'd be really happy if she could have this baby this weekend!!!! Wouldnt that be something! And my parents and aunt and cousins are here in town this weekend! I'm not counting on it but if it did...how perfect! Well just thought I'd share that news before I hit the sack. Long day of baby shopping ahead of us tomorrow!! Yay!!!

Whew!! FINALLY here I am :o)

Happy Valentines to all! May your loved ones spoil you with the love and affection you deserve :o) So I just came back from chopping all my hair off...yeah I guess I'm really getting into 'mommie mode' and after my appt headed over to the agency to drop off a thank you card for our Bmom (we'll call her 'C'). Left it with our social worker to give to C telling her how much we appreciated her meeting with us and how we felt about the meeting and that we were truly blessed to be chosen by her. So here is a little about our situation. C is a young single mom..22 yrs old. She has a daughter (whom we'll call D), that is 2 yrs old and will be a full blood sister to our son. The bfather (whom we'll call J), has been in and out of their lives and at this point is no where to be found. No one can get in touch with him. C has notified J of the adoption and she had told our social worker he was ok with it but you just never know. Her family is in total support of her decision. Being a young mother she decided all along through her pregnancy that adoption was what she wanted to do. She wants to go to school and do good for her and her daughter and financially and mentally, she is just not prepared to be a single mother of two children. She came to our agency a few weeks prior to us getting THE CALL and made an adoption plan with our social worker. She looked through the profiles and chose between two families...she really liked us...the fact that we've been together so long and are high school sweethearts...the fact that dan is athletic and played baseball. She told us she wanted baby to have that opportunity to play sports but didnt know who was gonna teach him that as she's not able. She was absolutely wonderful...I'm telling you it couldnt have been a more perfect match. We were anxious going in but as soon as we sat down it was like we were conversing with a friend. She told us about her life and family and a what she knew of J and his family. We also go to see pictures of J and C and also of D when she was a baby, so that gave us an idea what our son will look like. Forgot to mention that she brought D with her and she was absolutely lovely! Was a sweet little girl. Very smart and beautiful. Gummy worms and color crayons kept her busy while we talked :o) It was just amazing to be able to see her. We learned a lot about each other and our journeys that brought us to adoption. I have to share this story with you all which to me was like a definite deal sealer and a moment of goose bumps where I think we all realized that this was a match made by God; she brought up names for the baby and if we had any picked out and of course after flipping through the book of 100,000 names...we had brought three top names to the table with us---Jaxon, Grayson and Phineus. Well if you know Dan and I very well personally you will know that Jaxon is a name we've had in mind back when we were 15 and first dating..talking hypothetically if we got married what we'd name our kids. Dan came up with this name in the 7th grade. Anyway.... I told her the background of the first name we gave her, Jaxon, and when she heard the name...her eyes just lit up, welled with tears and she said....'ya know the only name i have every associated with this baby throughout this whole pregnancy, was Jaxon....if i were to name this boy and parent him myself, Jaxon is the name I would have given him....it goes well with his sisters name"....oh gosh did I burst into tears, we all got goosebumps and it was in that moment, i think we really all knew...this was going to be our son...Jaxon will be our boy :o) It was an incredible day, we said our see ya laters and Dan and I walked out the most happiest couple....even though it was like subzero we stopped outside the door and just embraced one another and cried. This is our bmom...this is our baby! Wow. I'm still in a state of shock that our prayers are finally being answered. We called our social worker later that evening and told her we were pushin our chips all in....we love her and will be waiting for our son. C was equally as excited about us and told our SW that she absolutely loved us. So....now we wait for the call from SW saying she is going into labor, we'll head up to the hospital and wait for baby to be born. We'll get a room near her room (hopefully). Her hospital wishes are that she get an hour with him after he is born to take pictures and say goodbyes and then ID bracelents are ours and we take over. We stay there as long as he needs to be there and when he's ready we'll take our son home. Wow!!! We will have a long few weeks ahead of us once we return home, though. J is not responding to phone calls so they are going to have to put a publication in the paper about the court date for his termination of parental rights. Legally this has to run for three weeks before court. Our origial legal risk would be 7 days but because it has to run 3 weeks, will probably be 2 weeks legal risk for us in which someone has the chance to step in and take over parenting this child. We dont want to think about that but we must be cautious as it is a possibility. There are no guarantees till after those 2 weeks are past. All we can do is pray and ask that you all pray very hard that this is what is meant to be and that no one will intrude on our new family. However, if they do, its what is best for the baby and we understand and will respect that. It by no means will be easy, but its whats in the best interst of the child. Thanks for everyones ongoing love and support. The well wishes we've been recieving are so wonderful and we love each and everyone of you. Thank you for tagging along with us on this wild adventure and we hope that we have a happy ending! Pray for us...for C...for her daugher and their family and for our baby Jaxon. Will update more soon! Try to get pix of nursery when we get it up and running :o) Love to all!

ITS A BOY!!!

For those of you who dont know, we met with our birth mother yesterday and everything was fantastic. We're having a boy!!! He is due Feb 24th..give or take. Just so you know I havent forgot to update my blog, just have been crazy busy with working and trying to get things ready and enjoying the moment with my husband and family and friends. I promise to update this within the next few days to give everyone the dish! We are so excited!!! Thanks for everyones ongoing support! Love to all!!!

Article someone posted on the next

I thought this was a nice article and wanted to share.....
Here's the article, it's written by a woman who has children both biologically and through adoption:

WHAT TO EXPECT WHILE YOU ARE WAITING TO ADOPT

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I ran out to buy a beautiful journal. In it, I tracked the growth of my belly, doctor's visits, countdown to the due date, and of course the details of my labor and delivery.

When my husband and I began talking about having another child, I knew I wanted to keep another pregnancy journal. Our second child, however, did not come as planned. After secondary infertility and nearly seven years of trying to conceive we made the decision to adopt a baby. This "pregnancy" did not last nine months; it came without any what-to-expect guidelines. I was "expecting" all right, but certainly not in the conventional way. I could not relate to any of the available nine-month countdown journals. So, I decided to create my own.

Through my journaling and sharing with others in similar situations, I found that there are indeed somewhat predictable stages of an adoption pregnancy.


Stage One: Asking Yourself Questions

The first trimester, so to speak, of an adoption expectancy may take a few minutes or several years. Some men and women say that they always knew they would adopt; it was just a matter of when. I have also met couples who have been, and still are, thinking about adoption for 10 years. Still others, like my husband and me, make the decision easily to have a child and to try fertility treatments when unable to become pregnant. Pursuing adoption, however, was not as instantaneous for us.

My biggest fear throughout pregnancy with my first child was, Would I be a good mother? My biggest fear in my adoption expectancy was, Will I feel like this child's mother? Could I bond with a child not born to me? Would I treat my birth child differently, and would my adopted child grow up feeling injustice in our family? Worst of all, could I handle my emotions if and when my child wanted to meet the birth family? I feared my role as a mother would be short-lived.

Ask yourself what matters, a pregnancy or a child? Will I feel like less of a person if I cannot make a baby? Have I mourned the child we cannot conceive? Is adoption our last resort, or do we want it regardless of our ability to conceive?


Stage Two: Who Will This Child Be?

The second trimester of your expectancy resembles a physical pregnancy's: You imagine LIFE. You don't grow a belly, rather a mound of paperwork. You're through with doctors poking at your body, but social workers poke around your home. No more research into medical miracles; now it's finding how to build your family. You start to imagine what kind of parent you will be. You wonder, Who will this child be?

You are moving into unknown territory, and it is natural to be filled with questions, fears and even doubts. You will be judged if your home and marriage are fit for a child, if you will be a fit parent. You will be asked about your feelings on issues that you may never before have given a second thought. You might have no idea what race your child will be, or his heritage or what she might look like. You'll probably stare at every child on the street and wonder, Will mine look like that?

You might have nightmares about your baby being born with two heads, seven toes or polka dots. You'll have to come to terms with heart-wrenching questions like, Can I parent a disabled child? What about a baby born with AIDS? A birth defect? Of all the children born in this world, which will be mine to love and raise?

Somewhere out there a child waits for you. You have taken a huge step toward that child; now feel the movement in the universe that will connect you.


Stage Three: The Waiting Game

Try to think of this stage as your last hurrah to prepare for the moment when you will get that phone call, when the agency or attorney will match you, when the birth mother will go into labor. IT WILL HAPPEN.

Compose a letter to your waiting child during this time. If you have little ones, encourage them to write to their future sibling. Ask your parents also to write to their coming grandchild.

Welcome the child into your life and family before s/he arrives, just as you would if you carried her in your womb. Throw yourself a baby shower. Ready your home for your new bundle. Buy diapers, sprinkle baby powder around the room, wash some baby clothes with extra gentle soap. Do whatever it takes to make it feel real.


Stage Four: It's a Boy, a Girl, a Miracle!

No matter how ready you think you are, you're not ready for this. As many times as you have answered the telephone before the first ring ended, and thought, "This could be the call," it will be the time that you grab it running out the door when the voice on the other end breaks the news you've been waiting for. It will be the day that the mail sits on your counter for hours before you remember it when a picture or video of your child appears. Even if you are in the delivery room, watching the birth of your baby, once he or she is placed in your arms, your heart will skip a beat and you will wonder, "How did I get here?!"

How you got there is nothing short of a miracle. The miracle of childbirth. The miracle of adoption. And it will take your breath away.


Stage Five: Joyful Beginnings, Bittersweet Endings

After childbirth, many women go through postpartum blues. Though it may be hard to imagine feeling anything other than pure joy once your long-awaited adopted child is in your arms, don't be surprised when you shed tears the first few weeks. Hormones may not be causing the tears, but you will nonetheless feel mixed up.

The first time I saw my daughter, she was two days old, sleeping in a car seat, her two pink feet sticking out beneath a blanket. Sitting next to her, lovingly stroking those precious feet, was her birth mother. My heart went out not at first to this dear infant but to the incredibly courageous and loving woman who had just given birth. I was truly paralyzed for a moment at the magnitude of love surrounding the three of us, this adoption triad.

Don't be afraid to feel the loss and sadness for your child and the birth parents. Cry for joyful beginnings. And cry for bittersweet endings.

An adoption pregnancy is not obvious to everyone. Often without a due date, it is a pregnancy of the heart and soul. I hope that my book, Till There Was You: An Adoption Expectancy Journal, will inspire you to explore your own time of waiting that you will share one day with the child who grew in your heart.

--By Rebecca Lyn Gold

WOO WHOO

Our profile is now online!!! Yay!! Check it out---- http://thevillagefamily.org/adoptionoption/profiles/shtml

Accurate Adoption language

As I was reading several other adoptive mother blogs tonight I came across one blog that I found shortly after they had their placement. The following info on adoption language was something a friend of her's had sent to her and I thought I'd share with all who read my blog as it is some really great information, especially for those who have questions floating about in their heads that may want to ask us down the road.....

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.
--- Rita Laws, PhD


Using accurate adoption language when speaking about adoption is extremely important. Even well meaning family members and friends can inadvertently convey the misconception that adoptive families are less real or permanent, and that a child who was adopted remains somehow different. This can be hurtful and hard to forget by the adoptee or adoptive parents.

Here are some points to remember:

*As with race or gender, the fact that a person was adopted should be mentioned only if it's essential to the story. If it's used, relevance should be made clear. A daughter, niece, granddaughter, or cousin who joined the family through adoption is -- and should be described as -- simply a daughter, niece, granddaughter, or cousin, not as an "adopted daughter", etc. Once an adoption is final, a child is simply a regular member of the family.

*If it is relevant to mention adoption, past tense phrasing is appropriate, such as "Jane was adopted in August 2006" rather than "She is adopted". Adoption is just one of many events in Jane's life, not an immutable personal trait. Jane's family should be referred to simply as father, mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The man and woman who shared in Jane's conception can be referred to as the birthparents (NOT "real" or "natural" parents).

*The reasons that people adopt are rarely relevant. To suggest or say that someone "couldn't have a baby of his or her own" is inaccurate. Adoption is a choice, and is not second best. Children who join families through adoption are their parents "own" by law and by love. Families are formed by love, not biology.

Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. The way we talk, and the words we choose, say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other.

Please choose positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. People who use incorrect terminology should be politely corrected. When we use positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.